BREAKING THE CYCLE OF NEGATIVE SELF TALK
We all have an inner voice that speaks to us throughout the day. For me that Inner voice is usually my worst fucking nightmare. Just a constant stream of harsh and critical nonsense usually leading to negative self-talk. Most of the time it's along the lines of "you're a worthless piece of shit", "You're unloveable, talentless, and don't deserve to be happy." Me and myself can really spiral out of control sometimes. Like we fucking all can.
After long enough of telling yourself you're a piece of shit, no matter how true or untrue it is, your self-esteem and mental health are going to take a fucking hit. If you call yourself Jabba the hut 10,000 times you're eventually going to believe it's true.
I can only speak for myself but at the end of the day I really am my own worst enemy and my most vicious bully.
I didn't realize that the reason my relationships were dysfunctional was because my relationship with myself, and with that negative voice, and even my positive voice, was the most dysfunctional relationship in my life.
I was in my late 20's when I finally realized how much I used hating myself as a cover for deep sadness and insecurity, and finding tools for how to talk to myself about myself, my personality, my body, my work, anything had to change.
I had to start so simple too, One technique that I used to challenge my negative self-talk is to use positive affirmations. I won't lie it felt and sounded dumb, but it fucking worked after a while. Affirmations are positive statements that we repeat to ourselves, such as "I am worthy," or "I am capable." "I am Hot, I am Sexy, I am deserving of love." And of course, if you follow me on TikTok, you know that I love to use aggressive affirmations too.
You can grab the steering wheel back from the part of yourself that hates you (It doesn't hate you, it's just your inner child screaming out in pain looking for love, but we'll get to that next week.)
You could also try cognitive restructuring, which involves challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive, realistic ones. For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm not good enough," you could challenge that thought by asking yourself, "What evidence is there that I'm not good enough?" You might find that there is no evidence to support that thought, and replace it with a more positive thought, such as "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing my best."
Mindfulness is also a helpful technique for breaking the cycle of negative self-talk. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and observing your thoughts without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to recognize negative thoughts as they arise and let them go, without getting caught up in the cycle of negative self-talk.
Finally, it's important to remember that breaking the cycle of negative self-talk takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. With time and effort, you can learn to shift your inner voice from negative to positive and improve your self-esteem and mental health.
I’m telling you, breaking the cycle of negative self-talk takes time, a lot of it, but it’s so rewarding when you finally ive yourself the foundation of tools to fix your relationship with your self. It’s such an important step in improving our mental health and well-being. By becoming aware of negative thoughts, using positive, or positive aggressive affirmations, practicing cognitive restructuring and mindfulness, and being patient with ourselves, we can challenge and reframe negative self-talk and see ourselves in a more positive light.
Much love HFG's, and remember, you are so Hot, and I love you so much.
Alex
Photo Credit Alex Pedan Photo
